Because Seven Ate Nine
by CoronaIgnis
Summary: In which chickens cross the road, knock-knocks are mutilated, and Roxanne learns her boyfriend's name.


I do not own Megamind or the name Syx. They are the property of Dreamworks and SilverShepherd respectively.

Considering that Megamind's fanon name is Syx, I'm surprised no one's done this before. Come on, people. Seriously?

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><p>"Why did the chicken cross the road?"<p>

Megamind's brow furrowed in concentration. "Was it attempting to escape one of those barbaric chicken farms?"

Roxanne stifled a grin. "Nice try, spaceman. What do you think, Minion?"

"Was it running from a predator?"

"What kind of predator?" his master wondered. "A fox, a wolf, a cougar, a-"

"No," his girlfriend interrupted, cutting off what was undoubtedly a list of every carnivorous creature known to man (and several that were not). "It's a joke, guys. The answer is supposed to be silly. Being eaten by a fox or whatever is not silly."

She leaned back in her chair, shaking her head at the odd paths life took. If anyone had told her just three months ago that she'd soon be sitting in a café with her serial kidnapper and his robotized henchfish trying to educate them about corny jokes, she would have introduced him to some new friends in white coats.

"Fine," the blue man grumbled. "Why _did_ the chicken cross the road?"

"To get to the other side."

Both aliens stared at her blankly. Then Minion grinned. "I get it. That was pretty funny, right sir?"

"What? Oh, sure."

Roxanne rolled her eyes; these two were so clueless. Minion was a bit better than his boss, mostly because he didn't spend so much time in jail and actually knew what knock-knock jokes were, but both aliens were ridiculously naïve about cultural norms that normal people took for granted. "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Roxanne is there, of course."

"No, sir. It's part of the joke. Whenever she says, 'knock knock,' I'm supposed to say 'who's there'? Then Miss Ritchi or whoever's telling the joke says something, then I say something who? and then we get to the punch line."

"Oh. Continue."

It took her a second to realize they were waiting for her to speak. "Banana."

"Something who!" yelled Megamind triumphantly. Other restaurant-goers glared.

"_Banana_ who," his henchfish corrected him.

"But that doesn't make any sense!"

"Actually, it does. 'Banana' was the something that Miss Ritchi said to me, so I repeated the something she said and added the word 'who' after it. I probably should have explained that better."

"Yes, you should have," his master huffed.

"Knock knock."

"Are we starting over?" Minion wondered.

"No we're not. I'm supposed to say 'knock knock' after you ask 'banana who'?" She didn't know if this was amusing or exasperating.

"But why?" whined the confused alien. "That has nothing to do with bananas."

Roxanne gave up. "We were supposed to keep doing that. Whenever Minion asked 'banana who' I'd say knock knock. We'd do that for three or four times, then when he asked 'who's there' I'd say 'orange.'"

"Orange who?" Surprisingly, this question came from Megamind. Perhaps he wasn't completely hopeless.

"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

Minion howled, though whether it was from the joke or the look on his master's face, Roxanne couldn't tell. The blue man mumbled something about 'not even a citrus.'

Maybe she'd been approaching this in the wrong way. These two were scientists, inventors. They needed a more mathematically-oriented joke.

"Why was six afraid of seven?"

The piscine's laughter stopped. He stared at the human woman in horror, as though she'd uttered some foul profanity. Megamind's too-green eyes bulged, nearly falling out of his head. He looked as though she'd suddenly acquired Metro- um, _Music-_ Man's strength and used it to punch him in the face.

"What?" she wondered blankly.

_That look_ covered her boyfriend's face, the blank expression he got whenever citizens spat at his feet or led their children to the other side of the road. Roxanne thought of it as the turtle face. Just like a turtle pulled into its shell to avoid being physically crushed, Megamind hid his powerful emotions behind _that_ _look_ in a last-ditch attempt to protect them.

"Because seven eight nine," he growled, hands tightening on his cola-filled cup.

"…Did I say something wrong?"

He retreated even further into his protective shell, burying his emotions under layers of practiced indifference. Only his burning eyes betrayed how strongly he felt. "No, nothing. After all, what's wrong with laughing at Syx? Everyone _else _does it." He pushed away from the table, stood with shoulders arched defensively. "Go ahead, laugh at Syx."

"Let me rephrase this: _What_ did I say wrong?" Maybe he associated himself with the number six or something, though why he would was beyond her comprehension.

"If you're serious about making this work, sir, you'll have to tell her sometime." Minion pressed his nasal ridge against the walls of his tank-head.

"Tell me what?"

Megamind glanced at her, then at Minion, then at the floor. "My name is Syx," he sighed. "S-Y-X. It's short for… for my birth name." He chewed his lip. "But everyone called my Syx because they thought my birth name sounded like a sneeze."

"I don't think that, sir," Minion interrupted loyally.

"So yes, I heard that joke several times growing up. It was usually used to torment me."

Part of Roxanne- the reporter part who always whined whenever her boyfriend clammed up- screamed to know more. The other part- the girlfriend, who respected that her blue beau didn't like talking about his past and would tell her the gory details when he was ready- told it to shut up. "Oops. Sorry, Megam…." She paused. "Syx?" He didn't protest, so she continued, "Sorry, Syx, I didn't know."

"Don't apologize. You had no way of knowing." He sighed, plopping back down in his chair. Minion elbowed him. He blinked, momentarily confused, before realizing what the piscine was hinting at. "And I am… sorry, too, Roxanne. I overreacted."

"It happens to the best of us," she assured him. "Don't worry about it, Syx."

"Messerosyx," he blurted, then clapped his hands over his mouth, stunned. Minion gawked at his now-purple master.

Roxanne had the sneaking suspicion that she was the first human to hear his personal name- both his personal names- in decades. "Messerosyx," she repeated, memorizing the sound of it. _"Messerosyx._" A tiny smile. "Your name sounds nothing like a sneeze."

"Really?" Megamind- Syx- Messerosyx- whoever he was- beamed.

She nodded. "I like it."

"You _like_…?" The blue man's eyes fluttered shut in bliss.

"It fits you," she explained. "Does it mean anything?"

Once again, her boyfriend's face flushed purple. His ears flamed pink. "We-ell, the thing about translations is, there's often no exact equivalent for a certain concept, or-" Minion thumped him on the back. Megamind glared, and his henchfish began whistling innocently. "Yes, it does mean something."

Roxanne waited.

"There are two English words which roughly mean the same thing." He refused to meet her eyes. "The more accurate one- don't look at me like that, Minion, it _is _more accurate- is 'champion.' You know, as in 'champion of evil'? So when my uncles started calling me Syx, they were really calling me 'champ.' Isn't that funny?"

"And the other?"

"Well, this translation is far less accurate- _quit rolling your eyes at me, Minion!-_ and I always thought it was destiny's sense of humor at work." He fidgeted.

Roxanne waited some more.

"'Hero,'" he mumbled.

"You're _kidding _me. A super villain whose name meant hero?"

"Champion," he corrected her.

She snorted. "Minion, which of the two translations is more accurate?"

"The second one."

"No, it's the first!" Megamind yelled, flapping his arms wildly.

Roxanne pressed a finger to his lips. "Does it matter, Syx? You're both, now."

"Um…."

"It's the principle of the thing," his henchfish explained. "He doesn't like admitting he's wrong." He placed a robotic hand on his master's shoulders to show that there were no hard feelings. "The name fits him, though, don't you think?"

She smiled. "It does."

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><p>FIN<p>

Wasn't that cute? It was fluffy and adowabul. And no, Megs is not afraid of seven.

EDIT: I forgot to mention how his name is pronounced. It's mess (as in mess) SAIR (rhymes with hair) row (as in row) syx, primary emphasis on the second syllable and secondary emphasis on the last.

-Corona


End file.
